As a postpartum doula, I am a firm believer that each family has to do what works best for them. There are so many things society and parenting experts tell us we must do. But parenthood can be so much more fulfilling when we break “the rules”.
Over the course of raising my 4 kids, these are some principles that have made our lives easier. They might not be right for everyone and that’s a-ok. But take this as your permission to give them a try.
Baby Shoes Are Accessories Not Necessities
I felt so validated as I listened to Naomi Davis’ interview on A Beautiful Mess. When she talked about her experiences with baby shoes, I could completely relate. I just don’t get wasting money on something they outgrow so fast.
Babies aren’t walking anywhere. In my experience, shoes would always fall off and add to the juggling chaos. Socks can keep their feet warm enough.
Designated Nap Times Are For the Birds
I’ve never understood not being able to do something because it conflicts with nap time. Maybe it’s because I’m a home-schooler and freelancer so clocks have never ruled my life. But nothing sounds more imprisoning or miserable to me as a mother.
I am a firm believer in sleeping when you’re tired. Whenever and wherever you may be. My kids don’t need a designated nap time in their beds. They can and will sleep wherever they happen to be.
Life is Messy
Stuff gets dirty. It’s ok because there’s a wipe for that. We have stain wipes, sanitizing wipes, bottle wipes, cleaning wipes, butt wipes, snot wipes, and face wipes. I literally have a wipe for every mess I encounter. And if I find one I don’t, then I’m gonna get rich developing one.
Yes, it might be “wasteful” and not friendly for the environment, but we try to offset in other areas. Secret tip: the Aloe wipes from Dollar Tree get almost any stain out of delicate fabrics.
We Can’t Have Nice Things Right Now
With the last point in mind, this is the season for second-hand and cheap furniture. Some day I won’t HAVE to buy rugs that hide stains or rustic tables. For now, we avoid a whole lot of upsetting situations by having things that the kids can bang-up.
If I Am Welcome, My Kids Are Too
The converse and inverse also apply. Being parents never stopped my parents from living a rich and fulfilling life. These experiences shaped me into who I am. I loved my childhood and I want my children to be able to enjoy the same.
What’s the point of being a family if mommy and daddy do everything alone? Or if we never do anything at all? Date nights are great but they shouldn’t be the only times we do fun things.
Dads Are Not Babysitters
Diaper changes and bath times are not a one-woman show. I am blessed to have a husband that does an equal share in the care of our children. In fact, he handles almost all the bath-times and bedtimes and most of the boys getting ready too.
I’m appalled when I hear of men who place time limits on how much alone time they can spend with their kids. I get needing a break because any stay-at-home mom can relate to that. But if he doesn’t have to ask for mom to watch the kids, then she shouldn’t either.
What methods have saved your sanity as a parent?